


please, i beg you, oh please now (don't fall in love with me)

by GhostOfDiamonds



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, It's basically the same structure, M/M, The Promise (The Promised Neverland), The Promised Neverland AU, The Promised Neverland Manga Spoilers, but slightly to the left, mostly angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-10
Updated: 2020-07-10
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:22:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25143847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GhostOfDiamonds/pseuds/GhostOfDiamonds
Summary: Gon was excited to see the outside world once the time came. But a small voice in the back of his head told him he shouldn’t be.Maybe he should have listened sooner.Snapshots of Gon's life at Hunter's Peak House.(aka the Promised Neverland AU no one wanted).
Relationships: Gon Freecs & Killua Zoldyck, Gon Freecs/Killua Zoldyck, minor Gon Freecs/Killua Zoldyck - Relationship
Comments: 10
Kudos: 61





	please, i beg you, oh please now (don't fall in love with me)

**Author's Note:**

> I really wanted to write a Promised Neverland AU for Hunter x Hunter, so here it is! Sorry if some stuff is inaccurate, I haven't caught up on the manga past chapter 130.
> 
> Title is from a translated version of a lyric from Zettai Zetsumei by Co Shu Nie.
> 
> Comments are always welcome! Also I think I'll just do the escape arc for now, but if inspiration strikes me I might continue. I know this is a weird format for a fic, but I like introspection and I always forget how to insert dialogue.

Gon doesn't remember life before Killua.

It's simple, really: They were raised by Mother and Father ever since they were born. Not _their_ mother and father, mind you. But family nonetheless.

They had siblings too. Gon never understood why Killua made no effort to talk with them. He asked Killua time and time again, and his response was always the same. “Because I don’t _want_ to, Gon, let it go!” And Gon did, sitting contentedly next to Killua while the other boy pretended to ignore him by reading his book, like he did most days.

There were only two other kids that Killua tolerated. One was a girl named Alluka, who he treated almost like a little sister. The other was a boy named Zushi, who Killua put up with for Gon’s sake. The four of them were known as the brightest kids in the orphanage, sure to get adopted into the best families.

Gon was excited to see the outside world once the time came. But a small voice in the back of his head told him he shouldn’t be. 

Maybe he should have listened sooner.

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

No matter how hard Gon tries, he can’t take in any air.

He coughs and wheezes, hoping that the cool night air will soften the rawness of his lungs, and the blow to his heart. Not to mention the harsh impact of his hands hitting the ground when he fell, the dewy grass sticking to his fingers as a painful reminder. 

He knows he shouldn’t stay here. He knows this perfectly well.

But no matter how desperately he tells himself to breathe, to calm down, to _move his legs_ , his body just won’t listen to him.

No one else will either. Why would they?

Why would they believe that demons exist?

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

Gon doesn’t eat much the next few days.

Killua notices, of course. Killua always notices. He tries to talk to Gon a few times, only to get a faint smile and fake cheer. On his worst days, Gon simply ignores the other boy. He feels terrible about doing this, of course. But Killua can’t do anything about the situation. Why would he believe Gon in the first place?

(And in the depths of his mind, he thinks he knows why: Because they’re friends. Because they have each other, and always will. And he doesn’t want to find out that he was wrong about everything he thought he knew.)

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

After a week, Killua corners Gon in the library.

“I know.” he says simply.

And Gon comes crashing down.

(And part of him is angry, of course. Angry that Killua didn’t tell him, angry that he was lied to for all these years. But another part is relieved that Killua believes him, Killua doesn’t hate him, Killua will be by his side like always.)

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

Gon quickly learns how to conceal his emotions.

It’s hard, of course. It’s against his nature. Before he found out, he blurted out almost anything that came to mind, cheerfully and without shame. Why would he have anything to hide? It was Hunter’s Peak, after all. 

Killua helps him. A subtle nudge, a reminder to put the smile back on, you’ve built up your persona around being so damn carefree this entire time Gon, honestly maybe it would have been easier if I’d told you sooner so you at least had a reputation for being gloomy.

(And maybe Killua’s right, but Gon doesn’t wholly regret it. Sure, if he knew sooner he could have helped more of his siblings. But he got to spend time with Killua, with no shadow of demons clouding his life. And for that, he thinks it was worth it.)

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Gon decides that he needs to tell Alluka and Zushi.

Zushi, of course, is outraged that Gon and Killua (oh, especially Killua) didn’t tell him sooner. When Killua snaps at him to “just be quiet, I didn’t tell you sooner because I knew you’d freak out”, he becomes apologetic, bowing frantically and trying to calm himself. An unsurprising reaction overall.

Alluka, on the other hand, is overly calm. Gon asks her if Killua had already told her. She shakes her head sadly, and Gon can see swirling depths of overwhelming sadness in her eyes, like the tide pools he’s read about in stories. But she doesn’t have to tell him anything. From what Gon can see, she knew. Oh, she knew.

(How, Gon can’t guess. But whatever the reason, it wouldn’t surprise him.)

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Gon didn’t expect the new adult.

A week after the group started making escape plans, Mother made an announcement.

“This is Brother Illumi. He’s here to help watch over you all.”

Anyone but Gon would have missed the widening of Killua’s eyes. Anyone but Gon wouldn’t have noticed the way he breathed in slightly deeper than normal, and brushed away the hair from his forehead almost frantically.

But Gon noticed. Because Gon knows Killua.

(At least, he hopes so.)

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Gon didn’t expect to be caught so quickly.

When Brother Illumi confronted them, the barest hint of a smile on his stonelike face, Gon thought that was it.

A deal for information wasn’t the worst outcome.

But judging from the stricken look on Killua’s face, it might as well have been.

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

Gon didn’t expect Brother Illumi to be gone so quickly.

He’s not entirely sure what happened, but he can take a guess.

(Something to do with Killua, perhaps?)

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

Gon can feel the exact second his bone snaps.

He wouldn’t have let that deter him, of course. But the second it happens, Mother standing over him with a victorious smile on her face, Killua is there.

Killua is there.

So he smiles, allows himself to be carried back to Hunter’s Peak house, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck. Allows himself to play the part of a reckless boy, who was having too much fun playing with his friend to think of the consequences.

Let them think what they want.

Because Gon would rather suffer endless pain than let the same thing happen to Killua.

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Gon can’t breathe.

Tears are blurring in his eyes, making it harder for him to see the other boy in front of him.

The boy who he may never see again.

(Why did it have to be Killua?)

(He deserves so much better.)

(I did this to him.)

And then, a thought that clears away the tears from his vision, and the fog from his mind.

(I won’t let this be for nothing.)

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Gon thinks Killua has never looked prettier.

Dressed up in finery, looking like he’s going on a date in one of those romance novels Alluka reads. Gon wishes he had more time to dwell on it.

Especially since Killua is about to leave.

Zushi tries to talk, but Gon brushes him off. Alluka turns to him, a question burning in her eyes that the tide pools will not quench.

Gon nods.

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

A threat is whispered in Gon’s ear.

“Be quiet. It’s only Kil for now. I think next it will be Alluka if you try something like this again.”

So he lays there on the floor, his broken legs throbbing to the beat of his heart, the blood rushing to his head.

As the person he cares about most in the world is taken from him.

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Gon has never seemed more lifeless to Zushi.

He sits under a tree, shade falling over him as he stares at nothing.

Zushi isn’t sure, but he thinks that was where Killua used to sit.

The other kids try to engage with Gon, but from what Zushi can see, he never responds.

He seems broken.

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Gon stands in the midst of the flames, a victorious smile on his face.

“We’re leaving. Tonight.”

His eyes look almost fiendish in the firelight.

But Zushi thinks it’s nice to finally have a sort of demon on their side.

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

(In another room, Killua sits quietly.)

(He’s not sure why, in this desperate situation, but he feels like smiling.)

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


End file.
